I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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