ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
