i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
