i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
