On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
