can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
