In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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