It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
