Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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