Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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