margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
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