I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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