i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
