dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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