I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
