I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
His nipple licking is glorious
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