And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
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You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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