They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Text me some of your sweat
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
