You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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