Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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