Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
