can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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