Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
