Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
