Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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