A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize