You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
