its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
