I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
being pregnant is like rehab
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
