What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
