why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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