there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
is it fun? or sober?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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