my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
