we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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