never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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