it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
