6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
