I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
