are you so shy because you have an std?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
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