D3 body, D1 cock
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
