Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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