the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
