isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
