I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
NoShamevember. You game?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize