laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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