We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
