My brain says no but my pants say off.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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