holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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