This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
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