I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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