I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
