What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
