There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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