i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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