I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
