yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
