So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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