if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
