Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
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