I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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