thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
