I hope mine doesn't look like that
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
