Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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