she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
