Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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