he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize