im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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