You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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