There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
