We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Even my vagina gasped.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
